porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
