Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
