He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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