I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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