apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
