Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize