Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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