My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize