your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
