You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
