Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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