Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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