At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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