i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize