There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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