I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
we should paint friendship bongs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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