i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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