No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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