i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
