I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
