Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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