so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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