His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
