All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm bleeding and have questions
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
