things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he thought i was a dude.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
