yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize