wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
babies were throwing up all over the place
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
