People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's rum buckets o'clock
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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