I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Blood and glitter go together right?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
