She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
