I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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