forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
