I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am one with the molecules
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
