He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
