I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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