yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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