Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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