Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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