Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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