if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
