I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
