I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
