My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
