And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
