paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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