His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
