nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Houston, we have a squirter
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
