I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
