Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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