Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
