Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
