I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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