Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
