I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
