K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
