You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
